I suppose this is a bit dusty ...

A good friend of mine reminded me about my blog, and how I don't really use it much anymore. Thus I am generating another post.

The past few months have been crazy. Working at Kiewit since January has been such a period of growth. I have screwed up many times, learned from my mistakes, and kept on walking. But who really wants to talk about work when they aren't at work. I certainly don't want to today, so that's all I'm going to say about that.

One topic I could go on and on about is Sarah. If you are reading my blog, you most likely know who I am talking about. Sarah is my most wonderful girlfriend whom I do very much love! To say that the past year has been an easy time for us would be a lie, but I am glad that we are able to encounter adversity so early on in our relationship. These trials and tribulations have defiantly taught us much about ourselves and each other.

That being said, not everything has been so doom and gloom with us. We have been grateful to share with 2 couples this summer who have joined themselves in marriage. I has been a unique experience for me. I have never really had an opportunity to go to a wedding where the bride or groom was a friend of mine. This has only made me more excited for more of my friends to get married (of course I am not pressuring any of you, but I do want to be there if, and/or when you get hitched).

Sadly though, Sarah has left Edmonton for the rest of the summer. Her life has been full of a myriad of changes lately, and she needed to go home for the rest of the summer. Being the eternal optimist, I have taken this change with a grain of salt. Although I do not in any way love being away from Sarah, it forces us to communicate much more, and in the end I do believe that we will be stronger when all of this is said and done.

For all of you out there who are wondering if Sarah and I are engaged yet, I will tell you now that we are not. That is that, and we will leave that subject alone.

Lets move on in my life ... we still have a good chunk to cover (although I have already talked about the best part ... and if you can't figure out which one was the best part I think we need to talk more).

I have also taken up reading again. This has been a wonderful experience that I do truly miss. I was reading a lot when I was in school, but then when I started working I got bogged down and didn't seem to make the time (as I believe we all have enough time, we just don't make time for certain activities). To give you an update on the books that I am reading, I currently have bookmarks in 2 books (plus the bible). The first one is a book that I have been trying to start and finish for a few years now, it is "War and Peace". It is such a literary giant that I feel I need to read it if I am going to consider myself educated. The second book that I am reading (and am currently spending the most time in) is "The Saucier's Apprentice". This is a wonderful book about a man in his 50's who is trying to discover food, and his journey doing this.

As for the bible, there has been a few verses that have stuck out to me in the recent months. The first one was 1 Timothy 3:1-5. It has turned into my life verse. This is the man whom I want to become. By no means and I there yet, but I would like to believe that I am well on my way. I don't think I need to say anything more, I hope it speaks to you.

1 This is a trustworthy saying: “If someone aspires to be an elder,^[a] he desires an honorable position.” 2 So an elder must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife.^[b] He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach. 3 He must not be a heavy drinker^[c] or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. 4 He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. 5 For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church? - 1 Timothy 3:1-5

The second verse is from the book of Daniel. When the days have been hard, or when the nights have been long, I have turned to this verse for encouragement.

19 “Don’t be afraid,” he said, “for you are very precious to God. Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!” - Daniel 10:19a

Well, I think that is enough for tonight. I hopefully will be posting much more frequently (not that it's hard to post more than once in about 7 months).

I am His Beloved

Well its been a while since I've blogged, and I needed to relax a bit after the final I finished a mere hour and a half ago.

How have I been doing you may ask, well I am doing pretty great. This semester has been full of tons of different things for me. I gave up striving for high grades, and now I am focusing on those around me. I have gotten to know 3 other amazing guys!

Starting at me and going clockwise: Alex W, Matt P, Daunavan B.

It's defiantly been a great semester of growing. We have made a small group, and we also have made a prayer group [both of which includes others]. It have been great to see all of us bring different attributes to the table, and just how we interact. It's pretty much AMAZING!

As for my blog title. I am sure you are wondering what "I am His Beloved" is about. If you weren't, well now I am going to tell you anyways. This isn't like those childhood "pick your adventure" type books.

Throughout this semester I have been reading two Nouwen books. The first one I talked about in my last blog post which was called "Reaching Out". The other one I read was "The Return of the Prodigal". Throughout both of these books Henri Nouwen talks about being the beloved of Christ; how there is this indescribable incomprehensible love. That has really resounded in my own life as well through many different situations.

Last week D [the affectionate nickname to Daunavan] sent me the following video:



I was so very touched by this song. Just the way it talks about Christ's love for us.

I have added the words to this song as well. Thats all I have to say for today. I hope that this touches you where you are at.

-A..B...

He is jealous for me
Love’s like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we’re all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

He loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

Loneliness

Well I have powered up my blogger again and I hope that this semester will be filled with some well thought out blogs. I have some inspiration for this semester at school. I am currently taking CHRTC 292: Spirituality. It has so far been an amazing class. But I have been reading one of the two required readings for this course. Its called "Reaching Out" by Henri Nouwen.


Reaching Out is a book about the three movements of the spiritual life. The first movement [the first 3 chapters] is from loneliness to solitude.


At first it reminds us about how we are in a society that makes us acutely aware of our loneliness. At this he makes a connection I hadn't thought of before; it's the connection to pornography.

"Pornography seems one of the logical results. It is intimacy for sale. In many "porno shops" hundreds of lonely young and old men, full of fear that anyone will recognize them, gaze silently at the pictures of nude girls drawing their minds into intimate close rooms where some stranger will melt away their loneliness." It now makes sense to me how the internet is such an outlet for these people. It is a place where no one can see them, yet through this visually emotional encounter they can numb their loneliness for a short time.


This loneliness not only ruins people via pornography, but it is seen as the "most universal source of human suffering today." It is seen as being the root of an increasing number of suicides, alcoholism, and drug use. It is the result of a competitive individualism.


I know myself I have been in this place of loneliness where even at a party, or at school, church, or even C&C events - at places where many people gather - I can be left feeling even more empty and sad than I was before I came. It seems these community gatherings that are supposed to bring us together can just leave us with a greater awareness of our loneliness.


I think this is all nicely summed up in what he finished this reflective section with:

"The many small rejections of everyday - a sarcastic smile, a flippant remark, a brisk denial or a bitter silence - may all be quite innocent and hardly worth our attention if they did not constantly arouse our basic human fear of being left totally alone with "darkness ... [as our] one companion left" (Psalm 88)"

But our society does not only amplifies our loneliness but our culture has become accustomed to avoiding the pain. We try not to admit that they are real. Its like an anesthetic. Even now I am not wanting to be in silence so I have music in the background. Silence is an eerie feeling. It brings us away from looking to the outside to looking to the inside.


Henri Nouwen also brings up how in our American society we are suspicious of closedness. We don't like when we don't know things. We are told to be totally honest, tell others everything, we - as a society - tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves. He mentions something that is very true: "Just as words loose their power when they are not born out of silence, so openness loses its meaning when there is no ability to be closed". WOW! Isn't so true. Sometimes the closedness of a person is what can draw you towards them, and then there is a constant yearning for knowledge; even in the most intimate of relationships.


The following was quoted as being from a wedding ceremony:

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Stand together yet not too near together
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
and the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow.

I think that we can miss this. But God obviously didn't. He brought us all into this world with different qualities. We each individually can do different things, but as we come together in harmony and healthy relationship we can make such a wonderful music on the strings of life.


I will leave you all today with one last quote from Henri that sums up where this movement from loneliness to solitude will take us in our spiritual journey:

"When loneliness is haunting me with its possibility of being a threshold instead of a dead end, a new creation instead of a grave, a meeting place instead of an abyss, then time loses its desperate clutch on me. Then I no longer have to live in a frenzy of activity, overwhelmed and afraid from the missed opportunity."

Finally a blogworthy night.

Yesterday, as I sat in my bathtub, soothing my muscles from my run I was pondering what there was to do on a Friday night in Edmonton; that was not just watching a movie. When Sarah and I first started hanging out together we would get together and brainstorm about 2 things. Firstly we planned pranks that we could pull on people, and secondly we thought of things we could do when we hanged out with people INSTEAD of going out to movies or just going over to someones house. Back to the tub .. I was thinking about what we could do on a night such as it was. Since it was a bit chilly, and rain seemed imminent; doing anything outside was out. So I remembered some items off this list. Many of them needed pre-planning, but one of them was going to the Yardbird Suite. For those of you who are not familiar with Edmonton's music scene; the Yardbird Suite is a jazz club located a few blocks off north of Whyte Ave on Gateway Blvd. So we decided to go there.

Last year I had wanted to attend the jazz festival, but now I had finally gotten my chance.

Since this post has taken approximately forever, I will just post it. Hopefully I will write more this summer on some more interesting experiences.

God Bless.

As time goes by

I know its been a long time since I've blogged, but I haven't really been in the blogging mood of late. But I have had a lot of things happen in the last while.

First of all, the day before yesterday was my last day of classes! I can't believe they are already done. It is such a great feeling. Now I just have to be able to make it through finals. Also - on the school front- I have been talking to a professor at the University of Alberta, and I pretty much have a job for my last 2 Co-op terms [they are consecutive 4-month terms starting in January and ending in August 2008]. I will be doing some projects in his lab, and get a feel for what I want to do. Yes, for what I want to do. I have pretty much made up my mind that I am going to do graduate work in Mechanical Engineering. I always have loved learning, and engineering is really interesting so I thought why not. But, to do the graduate work you want to do you need tor receive a NSERC scholarship. And here is where the hard part comes in. To be eligible to receive an NSERC scholarship you need to have an A- average, which for all of you who know the 4-point GPA scale that corresponds to a 3.7 GPA. I will admit that I have never gotten that high of a GPA, and as this is my first semester to be working towards that; I have to really do amazing in my finals.

So that's school. That is now just part of my life. At the end of this month I will have been dating Sarah for 6 months. I can't believe how fast these 6 months have went by either! This month is also special for us because it is Sarah's 21st birthday on April 18th [so don't forget to wish her a Happy Birthday!]. We have been busy together, now that we have started to overlap our lives so much.

Yesterday [saturday] my roommate -who is training with Edmonton Fire- invited us to a most amazing event! He called this event a 'burn'. In a 'burn' the instructors set their concrete building on fire. Then the trucks are deployed and it is treated as a real fire and they have to put it out and save the people who are trapped inside. So it was just good to be able to get out there and support my roommate who has to put up with me day in and day out. When we [Sarah and I] were leaving my condo I decided that fire and firefighters make great pictures, so I took a few while I was there. When I was taking them I found this man [who is the firefighter in both of the pictures] who seemed to be the epitome of what I think is a firefighter. He is obviously weathered, as can be seen by his face and by his clothes; but he is also a very kind man. He sat beside those two kids for at least 15 minutes, just talking to them and being around the. I have no idea if he knew them, but as many firefighters are, he was a model citizen. It was sort of like Jesus, who sat with those who were neglected. He [Jesus] was also not afraid to be seen with children; it was quite the contrary! This challenged me by showing me just how much I have to still learn. This man probably had better things to do than to just sit and entertain these children, but instead he took some of his time and invested it with them.

I don't remember if I mentioned in my last blog, but I am now employed! I have a job for the summer working with Kiewit. Kiewit is an engineering company that deals with construction. One of their largest projects is the Sea to Sky Highway that goes from Vancouver to Whistler [it is being built because of the Olympics]. From what I have heard thus far I will be working in their estimating department. This is a Godsend in my books! I was afraid that I was going to sent out of Edmonton for the summer, but their estimating department is based here in Edmonton. So in the next week or two I should be finding out where I will be assigned.

So I hope this gives all of you a glimpse back into my life. I hope that I will be a better blogger in the near future [and take more photo's as well]. I may even try a photo story too!

God Bless.

Back to the Kitchen: Cranberry Scones

Hey everyone.

So I decided to do a bit of a post tonight. I probably should catch you up on what has been happening in my life, but instead I will share with you the new recipe I found and made tonight.

Cranberry Scones - as modified by me

Ingredients:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
  
• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup butter, chilled
• 1 1/2 cups frozen cranberries
  
• 3/4 cup 2% milk
• 1 egg

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
2. Cut butter into mixture of flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add cranberries and toss to mix.
3. In separate bowl beat together milk and egg, and slowly pour into dry ingredients, stirring with rubber scraper until dough forms. Knead just until it comes together, 3 or 4 times. Don't overhandle!
4. Divide dough in half. On lightly floured board, shape each half into a 6-inch round. Cut into 6 wedges; or into whichever shapes you want.
   
5. Bake on ungreased sheet about 20 minutes at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Serve warm!!

Here is a picture of how mine ended up!

Ooops

Hey there,

So I haven't posted in forever, and I do apologize for that. I didn't even do my yearly New Years Review. It really is terrible!

I'm doing alright right now. I had a really big scare this week! I had chest pains on the evening of the 6th and the morning of the 7th for about 12 hours and I was in the hospital on the morning of the 7th [thats right my 21st B-day started in the hospital]. The scare was continued this week when I had a lot of trouble breathing on Wednesday, and had to go into the University's clinic. They did all the tests on me and think I only have influenza. So thats good!

I am much better now, I will be 100% in a week or two.

Cait and I are starting a newsletter that will hopefully be published tomorrow.

I finished work at AMEC on December 1st. I started back to school on the 8th.

So, thats a bit of an update on my life. Hopefully I get back into blogging this semester.

God Bless.

Andrew B